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What's in a Name? The Big Marriage Debate

June 24, 2016

      Ah yes, the debate that has plagued women for decades, to change your name or to keep your name . . .that is the question.  Tradition suggests that a woman drop her maiden name upon marriage and adopt the last name of her spouse.  But, what happens when the woman is already well-established in her profession?  What if she is particularly fond of her last name, or not fond of her husband's last name?  What if the partners to be married are of the same sex - who (if anyone) changes their name then?  Many questions face couples today, but are there many answers?

      In the south, it has become a common practice for the woman to drop her middle name, replace that with her maiden name, and then adopt her husband's last name as her own.  So, for example, this author, who is currently engaged to a Mr. Fields, would go from "Megan Elizabeth Mersch" to "Megan Mersch Fields" legally, but generally be known as Megan Fields (since people don't normally refer to a person including the middle name).  Such a change is professionally practical and permits the woman to keep a reference to her family heritage while also publicly acknowledging the marriage bond.  However, two last names is often a mouthful and dropping the middle name sometimes has sentimental drawbacks.  

      Is the better alternative not to change last names at all?  Women are constantly gaining recognition in society (although arguably not at the rate some would like) as strong, powerful leaders who do not need a man's support.  Just look at Presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton.  What if she were getting married today rather than in 1975.  Do you think she would have changed her last name to Clinton?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  This author would certainly be interested in knowing the response.  

      Either way, the debate doesn't seem to be getting any easier.  It is a deeply personal decision that many people, even those not directly affected, seem to have strong opinions on.  As for this author . . . she's opting for what looks best on a monogram.  (Just joking . . . sort of.)